Tuesday, December 1, 2009

False Burden Of Perfection (Continued)

False Burden of Perfection (Continued)

The burden is not just a relationship issue or a woman’s issue, it’s a people issue. There are men who work just as hard to get the trophy wife, family, and life. The image that they must make a million dollars to get a nice looking wife, have 2.5 or more kids, have a title, any title that represents power, and drive the top brand car. Anything less means they are less. Ego tripping as a conversation to prove to the next man that, “my toy is better than yours.” It’s as if a man can’t have the “regular” he has to have the “super sized combo.”

He makes constant decisions and actions based on trying to fill this self imposed burden because the Camry is not good enough it has to be a Mercedes. The wife who’s a teacher and great cook is not good enough she has to be a supermodel with extraneous bedroom abilities, or some woman with a “power title.” The house with nice backyard and enough to have a guest room is not enough, it has to be a two story mini mansion with far more rooms than people. The kid who makes good grades isn’t good enough he has to be the athletic star in a professional sports league to be “your boy.”

Not just in family, but in career, amongst friends, and in life. No one said you had to be perfect you assumed that is what it takes, to get acceptance, friends, and love. At the end of the day that is what we are really looking for. An embrace. That embrace can be physical like a hug, or kiss, or sex. Or it can be symbolic like a patch or proof that you are a part of a group. And Affirmation. That social pat on the back that you’ve done good.

You ask the average person, “are you happy where they are in life?” Overwhelmingly the majority will say, NO. Why? Because they want more or something else. What they have isn’t good enough or it isn’t enough. Most American debt is acquired trying to get things to prove “I AM SUCCESSFUL.” See my car, see my house, see my clothes, see my toys. See See. Meanwhile their paychecks are spent before they are deposited, they can’t keep regularly scheduled maintenance on the car, foreclosure is eminent, and they can no longer send those Dry Clean Only clothes to the cleaners. They are married and obligated to the stuff. Now depression creeps on along with frustration. Homes are broken, trust and self respect is breached, and so is the law in an attempt to maintain this false burden of, “I have to have.”

Not just women, not just men. But everyone does it. Teen girls are under the false impression that I have to be a size XS with big busts and a butt, in order to get “love”– attention. They feel obligated to be sexually promiscuous with hair down their back, wearing skinny jeans, stilettos, eye lashes and make up to be “pretty.” I wonder where did they get that idea from? (models, magazines, “Reality” TV shows, videos, news, MOM). Teen boys don’t sing and rap about going to school and getting a job, they are just programmed to “get money.” Doesn’t matter where it comes from, how it comes, or what they do to get it. Just get it and spend it, and buy what you want – women, cars, friends, love.

Imagine what kind of fulfilled life we could really have if we stopped trying to fulfill this false burden of perfection and actually seized and enjoyed what good things are already there and within our grasp. Drink from your own cistern (Proverbs 5:15). Enjoy yourself, your life, and the things and people in it.

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